NHL.com FAIL.

The life of a National Hockey League fan is, at its core, a cycle. Every year the same roller coaster of emotions is felt. With October comes high expectations - will Ales Hemsky stay off injured reserve? Chris Chelios retire? While rarely realistic, its an enjoyable time. As a Predators fan, I spend those days wistfully believing that Jason Arnott will play up to his talent level. I'm routinely disappointed, yes, but there's something to be said for starting anew and knowing that, before it all begins, there's a chance it might happen.

As we're learning, the NHL's regular season matters relatively little in the scheme (read: Stanley Cup) of things. Very often, a team's early to mid season performance shows us next to nothing about how their playoffs will result.  As the Carolina Hurricanes told us a couple of years ago, and perhaps the Montreal Canadiens or Boston Bruins this year, all you need to do is qualify for the postseason. Once you're in, its a clean slate for everyone as the target comes into focus - Lord Stanley's Cup. Countless hours pass and thousands of dollars are spent on participating in your team of choice's chase for glory, only to have those grueling eighty two games fast become a distant memory as the intensity and importance ramps up in April, and with it the emotional attachment of the fan.

We're all fully cognizant of our teams' capabilities. We saw them sweep the season series with Cup champs Pittsburgh, or clinch a playoff spot over Detroit in overtime. These things give us hope. As Game One nears, you know that this could be the year. Craig Anderson is going to stop the potent attack of San Jose. Shane Doan will carry the Coyotes through the threshold. You know this because you've seen it. Any given series can go a number of different ways, and it just may be that this time the cookie's crumbling in the right direction.

To describe it as disheartening, then, when a team underperforms or doesn't get the 'lucky bounces', is to put it lightly. We waited all year for this? Jamie Langenbrunner did what? Those hours, dollars, and occasionally tears wasted, we inch closer to that ledge. There's no reason to be let down again. The same thing'll happen next year, and the next. It is a cycle, after all. Isn't the definition of insanity doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result?

Shockingly, the sun rises the day after an elimination. Maybe its not so bad after all. October is only five months away. There's John Carlson or Colin Wilson to look forward to, perhaps a new coach, or a a shot at redemption. Maybe it will be different this time. Maybe we were wrong - next year is the year. They've fallen, and now they'll get up. That Jonathan Quick implosion? Aberration. This go around's different. Maybe David Clarkson will channel Maxime Talbot and become a postseason legend. Maybe the Nashville Predators will make the second round. And just maybe, history will be made.

So when you suffer through the humiliation of a first round upset or an epic failure, remember that its not all lost. Who knows what next year will bring. Ask Coyotes fans.

I know I've gotten gonzo with the recipes recently, but when I'm bored, I cook, and I've been bored a lot recently.  Wait for the summer... I go into full nesting mode and bake bread.  It's not pretty.

Anywho, Vancouver's known for their awesome Asian fusion food, since it's so close to Japan and other Asian nations.  Vancouver is also known for pretty damn good seafood, so I figured I'd combine the two.  This is another "no measurement" thing, but really, it's all about taste.

For some really good Asian/Thai/Whatever mussels, it takes about 10 minutes.  Seriously.

Woo!  I can grow a playoff beard too!

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Sean Leahy of Puck Daddy found this interesting news blurb today that proves that Matt Cooke really is at fault for everything that goes wrong in hockey:

It's interesting, because as I was poking around the news today, Cooke's name popped up a few more times...

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Well, it seems that the Habs have hung around for another round - the series against the Pittsburgh Penguins begins tonight.  I tried to wrack my brain for something that was Pittsburghean/Penguins related, and all I could think of were these little guys:

Sid, Geno, and Stallsie commsierate as to how to fix the powerplay. The answer? Low-Fat Nuefchatel cheese.

Anywho... if you care to learn how to make these little buggers (or if you're blind, because honestly - you can look at the picture and figure it out), here you go.

Recipies post-jumpius.

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Round two of the Stanley Cup Playoffs are set to get started in about 25 minutes, and that means it's time to see what the random number generator system predicts. Just like in the first round, I've used the power of random.org to select the series winner and how many games to expect the series to go to. At the very end are my own picks. After the round is over, I'll be looking at how I fared against the power of random math.

Expect the results of man vs. math for round one to be up tomorrow morning. With that, here we go:

Eastern Conference

(4) Pittsburgh vs. (8) Montreal: Montreal in 6.
The Canadiens shut down the best offence in hockey last series. As Ottawa found out last round, the Penguins offence is also deadly. The difference between Montreal and Ottawa? Jaroslav Halak. The X-Factor is Harold Priestly Gill the Third, also known as Hal Gill. The former Penguin will know how to defend against Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin.
Bonus: Pittsburgh blows out Montreal in their home arena once.

(6) Boston vs. (7) Philadelphia: Boston in 4.
Brian Boucher may be tops in the playoffs in GAA (1.59) and save percentage (.940),  but the competition is tougher this time. Ilya Kovalchuk is no Miro Satan. Tuukka Rask wins this battle hands down.
Bonus: Blake Wheeler scores a game-winning goal.

Western Conference

(1) San Jose vs. (5) Detroit: San Jose in 7.
Johan Franzen wakes up and causes some trouble for the Sharks, but Joe Pavelski is better. Evgeni Nabokov will be good, but not great. This will be Jamie McGinn's coming out party.
Bonus: Detroit loses a playoff game they score 4+ goals in for the first time since the lockout.

(2) Chicago vs. (3) Vancouver: Vancouver in 7.
Both Sedins score more points than Marian Hossa. Vancouver's penalty kill is monumentally better than it was against Los Angeles. Sparingly-used players like Kyle Wellwood and Brian Bickell each score at least two goals. Jonathan Toews has his best series as a Blackhawk.
Bonus: Both Cristobal Huet and Andrew Raycroft make appearances.

My own predictions: Pittsburgh in 5, Boston in 6, Detroit in 5, Vancouver in 7.

Unlike the normal stats stuff that you normally receive on CLS, I am forewarning you that this has little to do with actual hockey stats. It also has nothing to do with me being afraid of American, I just like the song.

This idea to write this started the other day from a conversation that I saw played out on my friends facebook. This girl said that she was cheering for teams in the playoffs based on the number of Americans each team had.

This individual had all sorts of rules about which team she could or could not cheer for in the playoffs. Canadian teams were out of the question, regardless of how many Americans actually played on them, the Pens were out because Sidney Crosby if too Canadian etc. Teams that played in the States had to have a high number of American born players as well as a preferably higher number of Americans born players to Canadian born players. Yeah it was all sorts of messed up thinking.

But it brought me to this: as we head into the next round, which team would you cheer for if you were only basing it on the number of American born players on any given team? I'm basing all my tallies on the rosters at each team's official website

Western Conference

San Jose Sharks - 4 players : Joe Pavelski, Jed Ortmeyer, Dwight Helminen and Jay Leach

Chicago Blackhawks - 2 players: Adam Burish, Patrick Kane

Vancouver Canucks - 2 players: Ryan Kesler, Andrew Alberts

Detroit Red Wings - 4 players: Justin Abdelkader, Drew Miller, Brett Lebda, Jimmy Howard

The Eastern Conference and 'most American' team is after the jump...

Wings/'Yotes game seven tonight, obviously.  I had to mentally go through everything southwestern that I have ever cooked other than nachos to dig something up.

To aggrivate people, there are no ingredient amounts.  HA.  All you need to do this is grab a few things, and you have some excellent black bean tacos that will blow your mind.

You'll need some veggie oil for frying, some corn tortillas, feta cheese (or other crumbly cheese, like a queso blanco - but feta has more flavor), a bag of cole slaw mixed greens, a lime or two, some fresh cilantro, ground cumin, and a can of black beans.

Open and rinse the beans under cold water in a fine wire mesh strainer.  Season with ground cumin and stir so all of it's not on one bean (ed. note - it's gross when you get a cumin bean).  Get some oil really, about a quarter inch deep and really hot in a skillet large enough to hold a couple folded tortillas, and when the oil is hot, fill a corn tortilla with black beans.  Fry in the oil until the tortilla is crisp, and drain on a paper towel.  Fill with feta while still hot.

In a bowl, mix cole slaw greens, chopped cilantro, and lime juice together to taste.  Stuff that in the tacos, and ta da.  I would not serve these with a heavy salsa at all... maybe a light peach or cactus salsa along with some blue corn tortilla chips.  It's a really light dinner, but it's filling.  You'll be able to get up off of the couch after munching on a couple of these.

Dani, Steven, and I were discussing how much all three of us absolutely love to cook the other day after I posted some food porn up on twitter - some chicken livers sauteed in butter with a brandy and maple syrup reduction, in case you're wondering.  Apparently cooking and hockey go hand in hand - the catharsis of whipping up and beating the hell out of some bread dough is kind of like watching Evander Kane lay out Matt Cooke like a nice loaf of Challah bread in the making.  This blog's kind of our random NHL fun-spot anyway.  We all need a break from The Hockey Bay Blog/Benched Whale, Silver Seven Sens, and Thrashing the Blues sometimes, and this blog's about as random as you can get.

I figure, well heck, a lot of us are at home watching the playoffs, regardless of if our team's in it or not.  Some of us might have Stanley Cup Finals parties floating around in our heads.  I'm debating on having one in my tiny apartment or not, but if I do, I'll probably do all the food myself.  If I can cater an engagement party for 40 people, I can entertain 15 friends and a cat.

I can't help but get the munchies when watching hockey.  So, why not share the munchie love?  Some of these recipes can do with a shortcut or two (frozen fries instead of fresh homemade, etc), but they're just as good homemade as they are all Sandra Lee'd.  Food after the jump!

Gentle Jesus.