Afternoon Cycle: You are fooorrrrgiiiiiven

Written by James O'Brien

Monday, 30 March 2009 15:15

Note: If you haven't read Chris Kontos' Hockey in Japan piece, make sure you do that first. It is absolutely essential reading.

There might not be many of you out there with the privilege of seeing much of the NCAA hockey tournament, but it's been pretty awesome.

Still, deep down, as ESPN U or whatever affiliate covers these games, there's this other feeling: the strong urge to plead for the NHL's return to the four-lettered network. Admit it, you thought that as ESPN's beautiful HD washed over you and creative, interesting camera angles came about.

Now, don't get us wrong. ESPN left hockey bruised and battered entering the lockout. What's the best parallel? Should we go to that Rhianna getting roughed up by Chris Brown well again? Or maybe kick it old school with a Bobby Brown-Whitney Houston or really really old school with Ike and Tina Turner?

(It's amazing how many abusive music industry relationships involve people who either go by only their first name or don't share a last name. Is the modern era hyphenated last name trend a catalyst for violence? Of course not, but it's always fun to establish arbitrary reasoning for such things. Violence = not funny; outlandishness = quite funny.)

Either way, it's obvious that ESPN's sending subtle little flowers to hockey at work. A hockey highlight prominently displayed in the Sportscenter Top 10? Ohhh you shouldn't have! Mentioning a hockey player other than Sidney Crosby? Maybe you can change!

Mike Chen, the wily veteran that he is, beat us to the "ESPN should televise NHL games on Thursdays" soap box but it still deserves to be mentioned. Think about it: Thursday is not a designated day for any sport, really. The NHL has three days of the week where the games are bountiful: Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Versus covers Tuesday, Hockey Night in Canada owns Saturday ... so why not Thursday Night Hockey on ESPN?

They wouldn't even have to leave Versus, a cable channel we'd compare to an overweight, slightly dopey wife with a heart of gold. Sure, you can't really brag about her with your office buds at the water cooler. And her production values are pretty terrible. And she never seems to rent the right movies/pick the right games. But she loves you and needs you. That's got to count for something.

(Ugh, OK, no more bad analogies ... until the next bullet point. Ho ho gotcha suckers!)

NHL Network was showing Game 7 of the Carolina Hurricanes - Edmonton Oilers SCF, which seemed shockingly old since it was in the pre or early HD era.

Still, it's stunning just how much energy permeated every cell of that game. Dirty hits were thrown about like 10-cent tacos. Scoring chances abounded. Naturally, there were some GREAT playoff beards.

It really got us pumped for the playoffs. The long grind is almost over, everyone. Are you as excited as we are?

Does every NHL season see so many random, out-of-left field surges as this one? At any given time, there seems to be at least one or two RED HOT teams. Right now, the Pittsburgh Penguins are hot but they have big name stars so that's not too shocking.

The two biggest surprises are the St. Louis Blues and the Carolina Hurricanes. We might take a deeper look at those two teams if possible. Either way, it seems like an odd trend but maybe we're just paying closer attention these days.

Despite only recording one assist between eight guys on Saturday, the Funkillers managed to pull the tights and put their legs on the ropes to advance on to the fantasy hockey finals. The hero of Sunday was Roberto Luongo whose shutout, literally, was the only way this fictional team could win.

We know you don't care, but just look at how close this was: